It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
YAS. BRING CRAB.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
