she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
