Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
