I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
