guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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