I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
