you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
