is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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