Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize