I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
