All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
