My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
