In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
