Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
