I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
