I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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