Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
