Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
cat food counts as protein by the way
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
