If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
