So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
