I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So squirting runs in the family.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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