Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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