ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
