What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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