I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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