If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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