It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
