I'm so fucking centered right now
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
that may or may not have been my penis.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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