so that wasnt chicken after all
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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