YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
