sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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