You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
