He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
