Your tits are I can't wait for
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
