Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
