the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
