make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
love makes seman taste better
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
