Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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