After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
