I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Acid is not a monday night drug
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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