Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
false alarm. still invincible.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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