My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I could fuck to npr.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
