that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
