I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
