I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
