Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
