I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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