I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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