no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
