he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
