Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
