Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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